Anyone Who Had A Heart

Media teacher Addam Stobbs said in class something that stuck with me, “the best radio presenters wear their hearts on their sleeves”.

Sometimes when I say personal things on air, I’m surprised by the lovely feedback that is sent in. It makes sense; when you offer a deeper, more intimate, highly personal connection to the listener, they respond. Remember, this is often the reason people listen to the radio – for companionship. If you open up, they will be drawn to you.

I work on radio campaigns for West End productions and sometimes in a day I hear up to 20 interviews by leading presenters from all around the country. I feel like I can make a fairly objective call on which are the best. I stand by Addam’s message. Who is a good presenter? Anyone who has a heart and is willing to show it.

Good radio isn’t just about experience and preparation – it’s about how passionate and genuine you are. The listener has a pretty good bullshit detector and don’t want fakes, they like real, decent, honest people. If you want to be the best presenter you can be, just be yourself.

19 Favourite Aussie Songs

Being far from home has made me nostalgic for good Aussie music.

Four Seasons in One Day is currently on high rotation because there is a special relationship a Melburnian has with Crowded House. Nothing musically sums up the Melbourne lifestyle so neatly. I wear layered clothes, picnic in the city and love trams – because ‘that’s Melbourne’.

When I started dating George, I made him a mix tape topped with George’s Breathe In Now and tailed with Georgy Girl by The Seekers. I present below the 19 tracks that in one way or another celebrate the wonderfulness of George and Australia.

Breathe In Now
George (Polyserena 2002) Brisbane
A song that’s given me great comfort since I was 19. It’s serendipitous I can share this with 19 yo George. This song is lovely, delicate and transcendant.

Just  a Boy
Angus and Julia Stone (A Book Like This 2007) Sydney
‘One kiss from you and I’m drunk up on your potion’ – the gag is I’m a lightweight, so one kiss should do it. Other favs The Beast, Paper Aeroplanes.

Ballet
Tara Simmons (All The Ammendments EP 2007) Brisbane
Introduced by darling Jenny O’Joy of Local and Vocal – this song is graceful and delightful, just like dancer George.

We Won’t Run
Sarah Blasko (As Day Follows Night 2007) Sydney
I saw Blasko at the 2006 Melbourne Commonwealth Games – as she sang Don’t Dream It’s Over, snow gently drifted across the arena. She is the darling angel of Australian music.

Lay Everything On Me
Oh Mercy (In The Nude For Love EP 2009) Melbourne
I once privately serenade by these lads (on Different Strokes with Jade Gulliver). Bloody good and attractive musos. Also check out Get You Back.

Fall At Your Feet
Clare Bowditch (She Will Have Her Way 2005) Melbourne
A Crowded House favourite sung by the amazing Bowditch. Clare’s song Lips Like Oranges is also worth checking out (especially this video where she forgets the ‘effin words!).

Heart’s A Mess
Gotye (Like Drawing Blood 2006) Melbourne
Wally De Backer is genius and this song is simply beautiful, even if a tad melancholy.

This Old Love
Lior (Autumn Flow 2005) Melbourne
A wholly adorable song about lovers growing old together (no pressure George).

Space They Cannot Touch
Kate Miller-Heidke (Little Eve 2007) Brisbane
One of my favourite interviewees, Miller-Heidke is an incredible vocalist and quite a funny lyricist (see The Facebook Song).

Dear Daniel
The Little Stevies (Grow Up 2006) Melbourne
Robin and I treaded the same theatre boards (he memorably on stage, and me not memorably backstage). This is a happy tune to bop to.

Strangers in the Wind
Cut Copy (In Ghost Colours 2008) Melbourne
This band is sex. Their music is the perfect soundtrack to everything. Especially sex. Because they ARE sex.

Electricity
The Avalanches (Since I Left You 2000) Melbourne
Opera is uber cool. Antoinette Halloran provides vocals to Daft Punk samples and a gnarly mix of Australian awesome.

Walking On A Dream
Empire Of The Sun (Walking On A Dream 2008) Sydney
Forget walking, the riff is imminently danceable.

Time To Begin
Katie Noonan (Skin 2007) Brisbane
Of George fame, Katie’s first ‘performance’ was taking the curtain call for her mother at the opera in nappies. Cute. My fav K-Noo is a cover of Crazy.

Embrace
Pnau (Self titled 2008) Sydney
Nick Littlemore from Empire of the Sun gets another go. Teamed with NZ’s Ladyhawke this song will get you grooving like a giant strawberry.

Black Cats
Bertie Blackman (Secrets and Lies 2009) Sydney
This song is so unambiguously lustful with its repeated mentions of ‘sex and sweat’.

Clap Your Hands
Sia (We Are Born 2010) Adelaide
This song comes with the best video. Sia is a quirky and loveable hero of the Aussie musical scene.

I Love It (Acoustic Version)
Sneaky Sound System (Self titled 2006) Sydney
Originally a dance track, the acoustic version shows off the glorious vocals of Connie Mitchell. I miss dancing my tits off to Sneaky Sound System, but sure it’s only a matter of time before they playing in London.

Georgy Girl
The Seekers (Come The Day 1966) Melbourne
This song must hold a record as one of the most recognised Australian songs (that’s not sung by Kylie). This song is all rainbows and sunshine.

A Rose By Any Other Name

I dedicate this to @girllighting who was given her first ‘put down’ nickname on a gaming forum ‘Miss Ding-a-Ling’.

Apparently it’s oh-so-witty because her name is Ling. Obviously, she thinks, it’s simply harmless. True, it reminds me of that hilarious scene from The Simpsons ‘I want you to play with my Ding-a-Ling‘.

Myself, I’m always given nicknames. The shortness must make people pity me and want to donate extra syllables.

Here are my favourite monikers given by friends and foes:

• Dan Dan Iced Vo Vo
  Radio chum Damiana Nicholulu named me after the Arnott’s biscuit treat, because I’m a ‘symphony in pink’.
• Vomo
  Petro used this for a year before I realised it was short for ‘Vomo the Homo’. He is, of course, ‘Petro the Hetero’.
• Dan Vogue
  Tom honestly thought that was my actual name.
• Voog
  George says it rhymes with Moog, the cheesy music of the 70′s and I too am cheesy (according to him).
• Dan Dan
  My friend ‘Little Bek with a Big B’ sometimes used this. When she realised it was Chinese slang for testicles, she always used it.
• Devo
  Given to me in music class.
• Van Dogh
  Given to me in art class.
• Dinky Danko
  This and other versions like Dingo Dango or True Blue Dinky Dan are used by British colleagues.
• Devolicious
  Self given when I was newly out gay. It goes to show that sometimes, you really are your own worst enemy.

Bucket List – London in June

After a move from East to South, I’m resettled in London and am ready for new adventures. I’d like to:

1. Hit the mats at Arch Climbing Wall (bouldering) or hit the heights at Westway (indoor rock climbing)
2. Find a romantic picnic spot – maybe Primrose, Brixton, Henry VIII Mound or the promisingly named Shooters Hill
3. Cross the Thames at London Tower Bridge
4. Pride London Festival kicks off in June so it’s time to get my glitter on
5. Salute the soldiers at the Queen’s Trooping the Colour march

The Gay List: The Sayings of Addam Stobbs

I just watched the ep of Frasier with fast talking, wise cracking Dr Mary.

She gets on Frasier’s nerves because instead of giving callers reasoned and analytical advice, she spouts a fountain of homespun wisdom – “a cat can have kittens in the oven but that don’t make ‘em biscuits!”

It reminded me of the many sayings of Addam Stobbs from JOY 94.9 – he too seemed to have a piece of advice or a one liner for every life situation. In person he was a total softy, one of the most loving men you could meet and a brilliant teacher. Whenever he got on air though, he was the ‘bitch’ of the airwaves and his acidic, catty, witty maxims on radio were unforgettable.

Here are some favourite Adam Stobbisms:

• “I am the oracle of truth, I am the orifice of all knowing.”
• “I can’t wank this by myself, it’s too big, I need someone else to help.” – on why he took on Peter Fortey as an on air partner
• “In the crap chat zone lives defamation” – a motto he taught during media training to remind us how important preparation is
• “Damn, I’m fucking brilliant!” – said when one of his students do well
• “Sex is just a few seconds of friction and a spoonful of you know what”
• “If you don’t like listening to me… piss off and listen to something else!”
• “I’ve got the amyl, give it to me like the bitch I am!” – on negative feedback sent into his program Allegro Non Troppo
• “(I am) the supreme mega god head and all knowing musical omnipotent of classical music.”
• “It’s an indulgent mess.” – Addam’s critique of my program The Fool and The Opera
• “Opera is the ultimate expression of a degenerate and opulent society. As is house music.”
• “Say ‘my name is – and I am a homosexual’. Once you take ownership of that statement, no one can use it against you.” – advice he gave to newly out gays
• “I’m not interested in acceptance, all I want is respect.”

The Dangers of Being Gay in Uganda

The BBC doco World’s Worst Place to be Gay? had quite an unexpected impact on me.

The one-off show follows BBC1 Scott Mills’ travels to Uganda as he to speaks to everyday people to discover the extent of homophobia in the country – he’s searching for the reasons why Uganda tried to introduce a death penalty for homosexuality.

An outstanding moment was when Mills met a group of gay and lesbian people living together in a slum; hated by their community, rejected by their families, and constantly harassed and beaten – they remain resilient. One brave Ugandan gay man declared:

We are born gay, we shall live (as) gays, we shall die (as) gays.

While we now know the Ugandan Anti-Homosexuality Bill proposing death for gay and lesbian people has not be instituted, the hatred has not passed since Mills’ visit. His interviewees said gays should be hanged and have “everything bad… done to them”. Indeed, some Ugandans take matters into their own hands, administering beatings or worse, such as ‘curing’ lesbianism with rape.

Like 1.5 million other people, I have signed the Avaaz Petition that condemns the bill and any future iteration of it. To change the mindset of the majority of the Ugandan community is a complex issue; but great things can be achieved with small steps – the first step is to watch Mills’ documentary and the second is to sign the petition.

How Do You Measure A Year?

This year many of my life long dreams came true.

I’ve had many people say “oh, you’re so lucky” because I’ve spent 6 months travelling, free from work. I have a standard response to that compliment now, borrowed from Walt Disney;

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.

Well, it’s the time of year that people compile best of lists, and so too have I. I want to share the important moments of the last 12 months. I am pretty lucky to be living my dreams, but remember you can be too. Just believe in yourself and your ability to make the impossible possible.

January

My personal theory of ‘Back to Zero’ took me to a space of exponential growth. Having planned for three years, I found myself financially free, my professional and private life was balanced, and having rejected material possessions I was unburdened. I had the means to live my dreams. I also unlocked the door to healing and began recovering from the sex abuse I survived as a child (survivor, not victim).

February

I vividly remember the hot, sexy man sidling up to me, shaking my hand while staring deep into my eyes. I almost spontaneously cumbusted when I met and interviewed porn star Brent Corrigan at the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. As a bonus, I also made it onto his website. Oh yah, I’m on a porn website (check it out here)!

I almost didn't recognise him with his clothes on!

March

A two year radio project came to a natural end. One of my last interviews for my program The Fool and The Opera was with world renowned conductor Richard Bonynge. I was deeply moved when he also invited to attend a masterclass. It was a great honour.

April

I helped co-ordinate Australia’s first same sex formal for Minus18. I spoke with a girl who told me she was so excited because her girlfriend couldn’t go to her ‘real’ school formal, but they were coming our event together. During the formal, when performer Jessie Upton sang acoustic Somewhere Over The Rainbow the two girls, in tuxedos, slow danced. I cried over how utterly beautiful it was.

May

I farewelled the folks of JOY 94.9, the gay and lesbian community radio station that I’d worked at for over 5 years.  I remember when I joined I was an over-eager young kid of little more than 21. It was the right time to leave because I learnt all that I could and I was aching for new adventures. I left the station, still, an over-eager young kid.

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke - Lynda Barry

June

My media mentor Addam Stobbs passed away and my world was a little sadder. At Addam’s funeral, I held hands with my dear friends Petro and Micah and I remember never wanting to let go. I know it’s from Addam’s lessons that I’ve drawn my most powerful quote, “Gays don’t deserve tolerance. We deserve respect, equality and love.”

July

I hopped on a A380 with my eye on the horizon. Over five months I saw Singaporean soldiers dance in formation, re-learnt to speak and write Vietnamese, sat in on a real Japanese tea ceremony in Tokyo, kitted myself out in hot Korean clothes, walked along the Hong Kong Avenue of Stars and met a British prince.

September

I celebrated my 27th birthday by flying to Tokyo. My happiest moment was hearing the sound of the cicadas and warning alarms at a local train station. The sounds were exactly as they are in the anime Neon Genesis Evangelion, the very show that made me fall in love with Japan when I was a mere teen. It took over a decade, but I made it to Tokyo.

October

On the tenth hour of the tenth day of the tenth month of the tenth year, at an outdoor cafe near Hoan Kiem Lake in flawless deep-southern accent Vietnamese, I ordered drinks for my southern American friends. Some I’d met days earlier, others that very day, but we had one thing in common, we were there to enjoy the once-in-a-lifetime festivities for Hanoi’s 1000th birthday.

November

When I was 12 I pretended I was born in Britain and had a posh accent. I’ve always wanted to be part of the world of David Attenborough, Blackadder and Bond (more recently Skins, Harry Potter and Bond). Now, I can happily proclaim I live in the city where it all happens; London.

December

Sitting in a production meeting at my new job, my heart skipped a beat when a colleague mentioned ‘BBC World Service’ and again when I saw a household name from British TV and Hollywood show pop up in my email. I find myself working for a major UK media producer with very recognisable names. I’m still amazed by this!

The Hoberman sphere is impressive when open, similarly your heart is most impressive when open to your dreams.

Đồng Tính Luyến Ái Project – Part 3

I’ve drawn up a wish list of people I would like to interview or discuss as part of the gay Vietnamese programme:

• Andrew Lam – contemporary Vietnamese / American gay author
• Huy Can – historical gay poet and communist
• Van Darkholme – contemporary Vietnamese / American porn actor
• Gay Vietnamese Alliance – American-based support organisation
• Xuan Dieu – historical gay poet and communist
• Song That – long term gay radio program broadcast from San Jose
• Nguyen Tan Hoang – contemporary Vietnamese / American media maker

I’m also very interested in speaking with prominent gay Asian author Benjamin Law after my friend Jojo pointed out that he is writing a book on gaysia (see his article The Discontent of Gaysia).

Your Smile Is The Cause For JOY

The gleam of innocence, now long lost, shines in my 21 year old eyes. With Marg Gardner and Paul Terdich.

A year ago today I handed over community radio station JOY 94.9 to incoming General Manager Danae Gibson.

When I became the station’s acting General Manager I was the youngest and its longest serving staff member at the time. At the 2009 Annual General Meeting and I gave a speech that was the culmination of 5 years experience with the organisation I’d joined as a bright-eyed 21 year old; it was a special moment.

I recently came back from a conference, which asked “how do we build resilience into our communities?” Coming from a Vietnamese background I know that a common traumatic experience can bring people together to make them strong and enable them to survive against all odds. As a people we suffered several great wars.

While the gay and lesbian community hasn’t had a war per say, we’ve had plenty of battles. The ones I want to talk about today are the personal ones. I’m talking about our coming out experiences. That period of time when we struggle to build a life outside the norm and connect with our community for the first time. Each of us have had different ones, but we have faced this common trauma.

Growing up I was very aware of the power of radio to bind people together – hold entire communities and connect them. SBS Vietnamese radio was like a religion on my household, it was the thing the bound us to our lost home. I believe that JOY is the temple of our queer community. It binds all of us here, together.

As you know, this year has been a big one for JOY. There have been big changes. We’ve stepped up to the challenge and there have been clear results. New partnerships, new programs, new awards, new studios, new adventures ahead with our 16th birthday around the corner.

It’s not all been smooth sailing. There have been difficult times and hard decisions to make. But how we come together to tackle them is what proves our salt. Makes us strong. Makes us resilient. Makes us greater than the sum of all our parts.

We are on the cusp of more great change. As we turn 16, like a true teenager, have become aware of the power we possess and are now learning how to wield it. The launch of QNN indicates that we are national. At the same time we need to be aware and concerned about what happens rurally and regionally too. We will also always remain staunchly local.

Today, I want to share with you what makes me resilient. Stories are gifts and today I want to give back something in thanks for the great gift given to me 10 years ago, when I turned 16.

I was a young Catholic boy in suburbia from a Vietnamese background (patriarchal society, living for the family, having sons to carry on the name) – yet I had a crush on a boy in class. I hadn’t yet added this up to equal “being gay” and so anger, isolation, fear and suicide filled my every day thoughts. I wanted to be free of a torment I didn’t undestand.

Channel surfing on the wireless one day I found that freedom. Hearing another young man say on air that he too had a crush on a boy in class was an awakening. Freedom, euphoria, pure joy. JOY for me in that moment was life changing and life saving radio.

I believe in this organisation because of the amazing work we do. I believe that we give people a safe space for emotional self expression and exploration. For listeners struggling with their sexuality or in the process of coming out, JOY can give them a whole new lease on life. It certainly gave me mine.

Yet, my story is only one among thousands. Among millions to come. Thank you everyone for carrying the important message of JOY. We’ve done some great work and made 16 years of fabulous radio. Here’s to 16 more!

Now I leave you with a quote from reknowned Vietnamese Buddhist Thich Nhat Hanh “JOY sometimes is the cause for your smile. Your smile is the cause for JOY.”

Đồng Tính Luyến Ái Project – Part 1

"Art is the lesser sister to medicine. It aims to heal." - Andrew Lam, gay Vietnamese writer

I’m working on an 8 part radio series focussing on the Vietnamese gay and lesbian queer community.

The project is in the early stages of planning and I’m looking for Vietnamese gay and lesbian people to interview. I would love if you can support the project by spreading the word. A call out was posted on Source Bottle; if you know anyone suitable, please let me know:

Seeking gay and lesbian Vietnamese people to share their coming out experiences for an 8 part radio documentary for queer radio station in Melbourne. You could be in Vietnam, Vietnamese born and immigrated overseas or of Vietnamese descent – we are looking for a broad diversity of people and stories. You don’t have to be gay either – we’re also looking for the perspective of those who are supportive, mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, family and friends.

The interview can be conducted in English or Vietnamese as the show will be presented in both Vietnamese and English and your interview will be translated.

The radio documentary is an expose on Vietnamese gay and lesbian communities and will look at how the culture, society, politics and sociodemographic you’re most closely associated with affects your opinion or outlook on being gay / lesbian.

As this is all audio based, anonymity can be provided at your request, we will use audio distorting software to protect your identity. If anonymity is not an issue a photo may be requested in order to form part of the online and print press promotion of the project. You will be requested to fill in consent forms for use of your story and / or image.

In case you’re wondering about the Vietnamese in the title of this post, it translates to “same sex” (a term I learnt from SBS radio) and have decided to use as the working title for the project.