This year I’m back home after 18 months on the road and write this from the comfort of my bungalow in Melbourne, windows and doors wide open as a delightful breeze blows through the garden and the chorus of local birds chirp me a tune.

There were some dark moments in this year for me as I experienced life without the support network that I’d grown accustomed to in Melbourne. All in all though, I end on a high. It truly is magical to once again bask in the Aussie sun and enjoy a bevvy in the arvo with loved ones.

Here’s a summary of the last year.

January

I started the year inauspiciously, alone on the rooftop of an apartment in Angel listening to Wait Til You See My Smile in memory of media mentor Addam Stobbs. After a six month period of accidentally following winter around the world – I was on an all time low.

February 

I met a boy. Dashing, charming and simply gorgeous – my first boyfriend in years.  I remember looking into his beautiful eyes and just thinking that I was the luckiest guy in the world. One favourite moment with him was falling asleep together on a double decker after a day of exploring London.

March

For the first time in years, I said ‘I love you’ to a lover. It was first murmured subconsciously in my sleep (George still heard). About a week later I said it accidentally at the end of a phone call. A fortnight later I said it properly.

April

I took a quick weekend away with George to glorious Montpellier – the land of sun, sun and more sun. We stayed at a remarkable 400 year old apartment in the ‘hilly’ part of the city and ate our way around the delicious French menus on offer.

May

I moved away from the East End to live in Kennington – ‘the town of the King’. Close to work, a great selection of respectable pubs nearby and on a good night I can open the windows and hear Big Ben chiming away. Best decision ever.

June

George and I broke up and it hurt. I joined a gym, walked around a few galleries, sat in the park reading – I did all the stuff you should do when you break up to keep yourself sane. It kept me sane enough.

July

My friend Jasper took me to the BBC Proms to see ‘Human Planet’ (he worked on the doco series). It featured one of my favourite international artists, Nitin Sawhney as well as an odd entourage – an African gourd player, Mongolian throat chanters, Siberian shamans, Pacific Island dancers…

August 

I visited Edinburgh to experience the ‘festival’ on a massive scale. Comedy, theatre and all the whisky drinking that happens in between. I love Edinburgh and you can tell the Scots really LOVE their city too – everything was just so well kept, beautiful and it was such a joy to be in that city.

September

I made a true friend in London who is also true Londoner (to date I consider this a rarity). John and I had robust discussions about the city’s financial austerity, architectural abyss and socially conservative attitudes and I finally began to understand the place I now called home.

October

I scooted over to Amsterdam and one of the highlights was seeing the Van Gogh Museum. It was extraordinary to see a ‘timeline’ of his work from beginning to tragic end. The fact that he started late in life and all his greatest works are near the end – it reinforces the idea that there’s hope for me yet!

November

I saw English National Opera production of Tosca at the Coliseum. It was surreal to see one of my favourite opera – put on by one of the world’s preeminent opera companies no less! It reminded me of how far I’d come since I’d presented that opera programme on radio many moons ago.

December

I came home. It was a little sad ticking the box on the immigration card that said ‘just visiting family and friends’. I’d been looking forward to this for some months and it was so liberating to drive around with friends, windows down and music blaring along Melbourne’s lush, sun glittered, tree-lined boulevards.

This video moved me deeply and I quickly found tears streaming down my face. I’ve added it to my Gay List of things that serve as a reminder of the reasons we must continue to work towards equality.

As Christmas approaches, I wish for a kindler, gentler world where our young people cared for by families and communities (of all diversities) that celebrate them for who they are. We all deserve that kind of love.

For presenters who put themselves out there and make themselves vulnerable, the reward can be great and so totally worth it. As a presenter when I revealed a little bit more about myself to the listener that I was truly comfortable with (I’m a naturally shy person), I received some of the loveliest and kindest feedback imaginable. The reason is simple, you are offering a deeper, more intimate, highly personal connection to the listener, and this is often the reason people listen to the radio – for companionship. If you open up, they will be drawn to you.

I have the privilege of working on major radio campaigns for the West End productions and sometimes in a day I will be co-producing around 20 interviews conducted by the best presenters of this country. With this in mind, I feel like I have fairly reasonable handle one which presenters are good, nay great. With all this listening experience, ask me who is a brilliant presenter and I will return to Addam Stobbs’s message. Who can be a good presenter? Anyone who has a heart and is willing to bear it.

Good radio isn’t just about experience and preparation – it’s about how passionate and genuine you are when you are on air. The listener has a pretty good bullshit detector and they don’t want to listen to fakes, they want real, decent, honest hosts. So if you want to be the best presenter you can be, let your emotions show – essentially, be yourself and show the listener how good a friend you can be for them.

In the meantime, you can enjoy this video of the shadow of the fourth dimension- the shadow of a tesseract to be precise (the hierarchy goes 2D square > 3D cube > 4D tesseract).

Soon, the time will come to think outside of the square again.

Giong Ke my que huong

Last night I listened to a poetic reading of Thich Nhat Hanh’s Bướm Bay Vườn Cải Hoa Vàng accompanied by Vietnamese monochord.

Best translated as Butterflies in the Garden of Yellow Flowers, it is a dense text for me because it is so laden with metaphors and philosophy in Vietnamese. I can only generally clutch at the some of the simpler concepts, but I enjoy listening to it because of the comfort that it brings me. Hearing Vietnamese meditational readings  and monochord brings me ‘home’.

There is a unique Vietnamese ideal of ‘home’ referred to as ‘quê hương’ (which translates to ‘hometown’) but it is not really a place that you can physically locate – it is a place that only exists in memory. It is a simple and honest place and time where the innocence of childhood and inner happiness intersects. The evocation of the word in poetry though is also embued with melancholy.

Quê hương represents, more than anything, lost happiness that you can never, ever find again. For a populace whose country has been ravaged for decades and centuries of war, it is a yearning for a sense of peace that can only exist in the past. We all live in a fast paced, ever changing and often crazy world and I’m sure you can appreciate the concept of a yesteryear when life was just right.

My life in London is going through another transformation at the moment. There is sadness and joy in my life at the moment and while I know, and am being assured, that everything is going to get better – instead of looking solely towards the future my inner Vietnamese nature can’t help but dream of times gone.

LIttle Vogue learns his altar manners.

Three sticks of incense clasped in both hands held high to the forehead. A prayer is whispered. The incense bows three times before plunged end first into the raw rice. Then three bows. Three kowtows. Upright again, the palms are pressed together and gracefully ‘chop’ the air.

My grandfather taught me when I was only a little tacker that you mustn’t ever blow on incense to calm the flame, it’s a sign of disrespect. Instead, you hold the incense with your left hand and let it burn at full strength for three heart beats before swiping the air with your right hand. The flame dies but the incense continues to smoulder as smoke and pungent perfume fills the room.

The Vietnamese altar is the most important place in the home. It represents our family history and future. In the centre is picture of the deceased family head and to the sides, the hierarchy – brothers, sisters, children and so on. When my grandmother was matriarch my grandfather was at the centre, while my aunts and uncles kept duplicate altars in their own homes.

For me it is a place to give thanks for your blessings and pray for more good luck. It could, however, also be a place of resentful reflection. Misbehaved children are punished by being sent to kneel in front of the altar (the worse the crime the longer the session). While I recall eons of boredom at the altar, it was worse for my mum and her siblings – in Vietnam they kneel on durian skins.

It’s been almost a year since I left Melbourne and I do miss the altar. There I am grounded with an unshakable sense of identity. I am a Le; the first born of a ninth born of an eighth born. I sprung from Melbourne, but my roots are in Giong Ke and no matter how far I travel I will always know I descend from a line of hard working and honest farmers.

Vietnamese belief says your ancestors guide you and help you achieve your goals. In some parts of my solo journey around the world I undeniably felt the protecting presence of my grandmother. Regardless of whether you believe in supernatural intervention or not though, I do know what my grandparents taught me when I was a child will most certainly steer me true in life.

Four Seasons in One Day always gets a guernsey because there is a special relationship a Melburnian has with Crowded House. When the inevitable weather conversation pops up, nothing sums up the Melbourne lifestyle so neatly. I wear layered clothes, picni in the city and love trams – because ‘That’s Melbourne’.

To celebrate George and I becoming ‘official’, I made him a mix tape of Aussie artists. Tailored just for him,  it was top and tailed with George’s Breathe In Now and Georgy Girl by The Seekers. Across all 19 tracks (because he is 19) I wanted to share the diversity of Aussie music scene and the tunes that have helped make me, me.

There artists on the list that haven’t made the splash they should have here in London and I do enjoy being a missionary of sorts, spreading good tunes to the world. However, I’ve not been able to keep up to date with all the new tunes coming out, so do hit me up with great tracks from Ozzyland in the comments section.

Breathe In Now – George (Polyserena 2002) Brisbane
A song that I sought comfort and solace in when I was 19, I thought it was quite serendipitous that I could share this one with 19 year old George. This song is lovely, delicate and transcendant.

Just  a Boy – Angus and Julia Stone (A Book Like This 2007) Sydney
‘One kiss from you and I’m drunk up on your potion’ – the running joke is I’m a cheap drunk anyway so it’s not too far an exaggeration to say I get tipsy kissing George – commence eye roll sequence.  My other favs The Beast, Paper Aeroplanes.

Ballet - Tara Simmons (All The Ammendments EP 2007) Brisbane
First introduced to me by darling Jenny O’Joy on her Local and Vocal show this song was an instant favourite. Light, graceful and full of love – just like former ballet dancer George.

We Won’t Run – Sarah Blasko (As Day Follows Night 2007) Sydney
My favourite Sarah Blasko memory is at the 2006 Melbourne Commonwealth Games with my sister watching the snow slowly drift down as she sang Don’t Dream It’s Over - any Aussie music compilation has to include this gorgeous lady.

Lay Everything On Me - Oh Mercy (In The Nude For Love EP 2009) Melbourne
I interviewed these lads with Different Strokes’ Jade Gulliver before they went over to SXSW 2010 and boyo are they good musos. Also, anyone who gets up on stage and tucks his shirt into his jeans gets bonus points from me. Also check out Get You Back.

Fall At Your Feet – Clare Bowditch (She Will Have Her Way 2005) Melbourne
Added because I wanted to include Crowded House, although Clare’s song Lips Like Oranges was hard not to include – the tale of a beer factory bottler who asks his crush on a date is very sweet (even if the words are effin hard to remember – watch the clip!).

Heart’s A Mess – Gotye (Like Drawing Blood 2006) Melbourne
Wally De Backer is as local as you can get – he was at the same high school as I was (even in the same big band rhythm section I’d join). He is pure genius and this song was included in the list because it’s just beautiful, even if a bit melancholy.

This Old Love – Lior (Autumn Flow 2005) Melbourne, Victoria
This is a wholly adorable song about lovers growing old together (not to put any pressure on George). It’s another one of those songs that I just instantly connected with when I first heard it. Lior is amaze and is highly recommended.

Space They Cannot Touch – Kate Miller-Heidke (Little Eve 2007) Brisbane
I’ve had the delightful treat of interviewing this lady a couple of times for JOY. She’s one of the best vocalists in Australia, her operatically trained voice hits an amazing range of notes with precision. Plus The Facebook Song rocks.

Dear Daniel - The Little Stevies (Grow Up 2006) Melbourne
Kevin Bacon strikes again – I went to uni with Robin and we treaded the same theatre boards (him memorably on stage and me not so memorably behind the scenes). This is a light hearted and tuneful song by a delightful Dan – a must have.

Strangers in the Wind - Cut Copy (In Ghost Colours 2008) Melbourne
This band is just pure sex. I could listen to their tracks over and over again and not tired of just how great they are. They’re the perfect soundtrack to everything. Especially sex. Because they are sex.

Electricity - The Avalanches (Since I Left You 2000) Melbourne
Opera meets uber cool. Blending vocal samples from Antoinette Halloran (I’ve interviewed her too) and Daft Punk tunes, this is a great example of Australian awesome.

Walking On A Dream - Empire Of The Sun (Walking On A Dream 2008) Sydney
You just have to experience this band’s music and this song is just musically perfect in so many ways. A riff to die for and a driving beat that that is imminently danceable.

Time To Begin - Katie Noonan (Skin 2007) Brisbane
Of George fame, Katie’s first ‘performance’ was after one of her mother Maggie’s opera concerts – baby Katie pottered on stage to take the curtain call for her mum. I’ll bet even that was brilliant. My fav K-Noo is a cover of Crazy.

Embrace - Pnau (Selftitled 2008) Sydney
Nick Littlemore of Empire of the Sun gets another mention and we introduce the magnificent New Zealander Ladyhawke (for Britons yes, that is just another couple of Australia’s islands). Do yourself a favour and check out Pnau and their dancing strawberry.

Black Cats – Bertie Blackman (Secrets and Lies 2009) Sydney
Snuck in as a bit of a cheeky warning to George, ‘If I find you are pretending to be in love. You’d better hide deep in the streets and run love.’ On top of that, this song drives me made with desire for all its mentions of ‘sex and sweat’.

Clap Your Hands – Sia (We Are Born 2010) Adelaide
This song comes with the best ever video clip full of the quirk that I’ve come to love from Sia. One of the rare treats on the list that doesn’t ‘originate’ from the east coast of Ozzyland.

I Love It (Acoustic Version) – Sneaky Sound System (Selftitled 2006) Sydney
First released as a dance track, the acoustic version really shows off the glorious vocals of Connie Mitchell. Actually I miss going out and dancing my tits off to Sneaky Sound System, but surely it’s only a matter of time before they’re totally international.

Georgy Girl - The Seekers (Come The Day 1966) Melbourne
Speaking of international, this song surely must hold some record as one of the most recognised Australian songs (that’s not Kylie). I wanted to end the mixtape on a total high and this song is all rainbows and sunshine for me.

You see, it’s oh so witty because her first name is Ling. Obviously Ling thinks, as do I, that it’s simply harmless. In fact I think it’s incredibly cute because it reminds me of that hilarious scene from The Simpsons ‘I want you to play with my Ding-a-Ling‘.

I find for some reason people can’t help but give me nicknames too. It must be the two syllables and five characters – like the lovable dog with puppy eyes you can’t help but throw food scraps at, people can’t help but donate extra words to my name.

Here are some of my favourite monikers as handed down by friends and foes over the years:

• Dan Dan Iced Vo Vo
  Given to me by radio days friend Damiana Nicholulu because like the Arnott’s treat, I’m a ‘symphony in pink’.
• Vomo
  Fake boyfriend Petro called me this for a year before I realised it was short for ‘Vomo the Homo’.
• Dan Vogue
  Given by a friend who honestly thought that was my actual name.
• Daaahhhhhhnnn
  Used by the same friend as before, who I call Tooohhhhhhmmm.
• Voog
  Used by Jorge as it rhymes with Moog, the cheesy music of the 70′s, and because I too, allegedly, am cheesy.
• Dan Dan
  My friend Bek with a Big B occasionally used this until we realised it was Chinese slang for testicles, then she called me Dan Dan all the time.
• Devo
  Given to me in music class.
• Van Dogh
  Given to me in art class.
• Dan Vog Vog
  Because… I really don’t know… Maya just wanted to call me that.
• Devolicious
  Self given when I was a ‘just out’ new gay, which goes to show that sometimes, you really are your own worst enemy.

Here are the things I want to do this coming month:

1. Grapple and spar with the best of ‘em at Ishigaki, London’s very own gay and lesbian Ju-Jitsu club
2. Hit the mats at Arch Climbing Wall, a bouldering venue in Bermondsey or hang tight at Westway an indoor climber’s delight
3. Find a romantic picnic spot with George – maybe Primrose or Brixton Hill, Henry VIII Mound or promisingly named Shooters Hill
4. Take a free gardening class at community garden, Walworth Garden Farm – I may even give beekeeping a go
5. Seek inner peace at the Jamyang Buddhist Centre or the London Buddhist Centre
6. Cross the Thames at London Tower Bridge and then drop into M Manze’s for pie and mash (this is purely for George)
7. Have a sticky beak at Arts Unwrapped open studio weekend and Open Garden Squares Weekend
8. Consume some more arty culture and check out the graffiti in Banksy Tunnel, Leake St
9. Pride London Festival kicks off in the last two weeks in the lead up to the march in July, time to get my glitter on
10. Salute the soldiers at another queeny parade – the Queen’s Birthday Trooping the Colour march

She’s not really a doctor and gets on Frasier’s nerves because instead of giving callers reasoned and analytical advice, she is a fountain of homespun wisdom – “a cat can have kittens in the oven but that don’t make ‘em biscuits!”

It reminded me of the many sayings of Addam Stobbs from JOY 94.9 – he too seemed to have a piece of advice or a one liner for every life situation. In person he was a total softy, one of the most loving men you could meet and a brilliant teacher. Whenever he got on air though, he was the ‘bitch’ of the airwaves and his acidic, catty, witty maxims on radio were, like the man himself, unforgettable.

Here are some favourite Adam Stobbisms that have a permanent spot on my Gay List (things that make me happy):

• “I am the oracle of truth, I am the orifice of all knowing.”
• “I can’t wank this by myself, it’s too big, I need someone else to help.” – on why he took on Peter Fortey as an on air partner
• “In the crap chat zone lives defamation” – a motto he taught during media training to remind us how important preparation is
• “Damn, I’m fucking brilliant!” – said when one of his students do well
• “Sex is just a few seconds of friction and a spoonful of you know what”
• “If you don’t like listening to me… if you don’t like it… piss off and listen to something else!”
• “I’ve got the amyl, give it to me like the bitch I am!” – on negative feedback sent into his program Allegro Non Troppo
• “(I am) the supreme mega god head and all knowing musical omnipotent of classical music.”
• “It’s an indulgent mess.” – Addam’s critique of my program The Fool and The Opera
• “Opera is the ultimate expression of a degenerate and opulent society. As is house music.”
• “Say ‘my name is Petro and I am a homosexual’. Once you take ownership of that statement, no one can use it against you.” – advice he gave to newly out Petro
• “I’m not interested in acceptance, all I want is respect.”